A Birthday Post

I'll be turning twenty five couple of days from now and it's very unusual for me not to feel any excitement about it. Yes, it feels like nothing's big deal about my birthday coz this time it only means another year for me. Not to ignore how the Lord has been so good and faithful that He decided to let me reach my 25th year in this world.

Upon contemplating on things, I realized that unlike before, I can feel that I don't have the mood to expect something from other people like gifts, surprises, special treatments on my special day and all maybe because, through the years, i've already out grew such things, but more on expectations from my self and equating that to responsibilities. Yes, greater responsibilities that I can't say a burden but a privilege to play a more mature role in life.

So Help me God. 

I don't have any accomplishments today except giving myself a good rest. Monthend is determined to hasten its coming and closing of books makes me a bit worried because I'm sure this would mean working at the office til midnight and my health is showing a bad sign. So i decided to skip work today and extend my long week end. After all, taking a leave today is more acceptable than taking it on the actual closing of books. 

August was very gracious as  some most of you might agree. All in all I had 4 paid holidays. Which allowed me to catch some precious time with my friends. 

Last Monday, August 20, me and some dear friends decided to explore Tagaytay. We usually do this annually, but this is the best escapade with them so far for number of reasons. One, this is more intimate which means we can raise even the sensitive topics we want to talk about. Two, we didn't have a formal itinerary nor programs to what we will do but simply do everything we want. Three, all of us are girls. So we spent quality girls' talk without hesitations. 

I'm planning to do this regularly with them because it's one way to keep our friendship healthy. 

Till next time ladies (:

Convicted

I never remember a time that I came home from church without feeling unusual. There's always a voice within, sometimes soft, sometimes loud, that moves me. And I guess, that sounds healthy and good because that's the power of the word of God.

That is what happening to me right now, I am convicted by His word. Something that I can't resist and I can't ignore. Another basic thing that I already knew way back before my kinder years was over - to exaggerate. 

Lately, I find myself feeling entitled to a lot of things from a lot of people. And I noticed that it's robbing me my joy. But today's reminder from the Lord is to be faithful to little things for me to be entrusted with greater things. This is a very elementary rule/law, but often times, I missed living and out. 

Things wont get better having bigger salary if I don't know how to manage what I am receiving now. I can't be a better life group leader to many if I'm not doing well in discipling the few. I should forget promotions if I can't prioritize God over my job. 

Simple yet sharp reminder from God. (:

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. -Luke 16:10

Sweet Blessings of Pain

It's been so long since I've been here and I feel like  I have so many things to share with you my stranger friends. So Let me start here:


Past few weeks were really not going smooth and well, the  truth is, I could point it as one of the lowest moments of my life. I was very emotional and bitterness started to reign in me. I literally experienced waking up in the middle of the night and can't stop tears from falling. I was broken hearted. 


But on the other side, I ironically enjoyed the state of being hurt, because with that, I've once again exprienced being comforted by God. It was still very clear to me what my Senior Pastor mentioned in his sermon four or five years ago, he said that God can remove the pain that we have but most of the time He choose not to, so that He can be able to comfort us and to let us feel His loving presence in the midst of pain. And I can attest to that. In my heart, I'd rather get hurt again and again and feel God's comfort than be fine without Him.


I remember what I've wrote to my journal one time, I said there that I was really struggling being accountable to someone because I feel like nobody expects me to feel petty things and do acts of immaturities. I am a leader and I should be righteous. I should be good in all areas of my life. But of course, I know that those were not true.. but inpite of that, I still can hardly tell what's really going on with my heart. 

Until God lead me to this situation where I feel like I'm so helpless and I can't be able to fight alone. I needed someone to carry my burden with me and to do the fight with me. God granted me the courage to share what was in my heart and the next were all history. 

Indeed, moments like this refined my relationship with God and with my treasured friends. God taught me how to fully trust and secured me that my issues were properly taken care of in their hands. I would also say that from there, friendship were strengthened.

As of this moment, I can't still say that I am fully fine, I still have some issues to face but the difference is, I shared the piece of that with them and that's a total relief. 

To end this, I would like to say thank you trio for shedding tears and battling the fight with me. I will be forever in owe of your kindness and sincere friendship that doesn't tolerate but only cares. And to you God,

You know me more but inspite of that, You never love me less. I know that you're keeping my tears and treasure it. With you and with them, indeed, everything will be well.. (:

weeping may stay for the night,

    but rejoicing comes in the morning.

-Psalm 30:5

When We Start Comparing

As imperfect as we are, we'll always have that tendency not to agree with what God is doing and there might come a point in our lives that we'll feel bad about Him. We start to feel bad and lose our faith and even question Him. 


Jeremiah was not an exception to this. Considering that he was chosen by God to be His mouthpiece, he was least expected to feel this way. But Jeremiah started to doubt God when he mentioned this :

Why does the way of the wicked prosper? 

Why do all the faithless live at ease?

You are always on their lips 

but far from their hearts. 

You have planted them and they have taken root 

they grow and bear fruit.

(Jeremiah 12: 1-2)

A question filled with doubt unexpectedly expressed from a prophet like him. 

When did Jeremiah started to feel bad? When Jeremiah started to compare. When he saw that the wicked people around Him is still experiencing blessings inspite of their unworthiness. And He was disappointed with God because of that. He forgot that God's way will always be higher than ours.

Comparison will always cause insecurity, jealousy and many other feelings we never want to feel. So instead of looking to the right or to the left, look up, straight to Him. You'll never go wrong in doing so. (:

It is when...

Life gives us so many reason to feel down, to frown, be discouraged, get mad and all but on the brighter side, life gives us a thousand more reason to celebrate. It's just a matter of choice and perspective.

This past few days has been so tiring and stressful that I almost forgot to appreciate things around me. Then everything started to be ordinary if not irritating. Everything seemed to be offensive. Burdens increased and sensitivity leveled up. At the end of the day, I know I always got choice.

From this, I learned that life is indeed a teaser. It will tease you until you give in or you stand up. It will hit you whether you're ready or not, guarded or unguarded. You give in - you loose. You stand up and make right decisions it will tease you even more. 

That is why, keeping a good perspective is one of the best choice we could do in life. It's when we wake up every morning and choose to be happy no matter what. It's when we laugh out loud over our foolish mistakes instead of feeling down. It's when we stop for a while and gaze up to the sky in rush moments. It's when we love even more inspite of imperfections. It's when we understand even it's complicated. It's when we go out to our comfort zone and still feel confident and secure. It's when we forgive others in treating us the way we don't deserve. It's when we choose to hold on to our passion even in discouragements. And above all, it's when we trust God in everything.

Blessed Sunday everyone :)

Chasing Dreams

There will always come a point in our lives that our reasons to pursue our dreams get blurry and we start to be complacent towards that dream. We give up and we lose heart. We let go of the passion that drove us to pursue such. All of us have these tendecies.

Lately, I've been into some disappointments that caused me to stop and reflect for quite some time if what I've already started really worth the sacrifice, the time, the effort and the discouragements maybe. If those things are really meant for me?

This is what I get upon reflecting things.. a dream has to be bigger than us for it to be worthy to be called as dream. You need to pursue it and be desperate about it. You need to have a hundred and one percent of passion enough to fight disappointments, enough to stand all over again in the midst of failures and y0u need to be willing to respect the process. I believe that God purposely planted in our hearts desires that connects us to our personal callings. Our Purpose.

Today, I'm saying Yes to my dreams again. Fully aware that there's no assurance that everything will go smooth and well. I might fall again, but in the perfect grace of God, I will rise. Today, I promise to respect the process and grow through it.