Sweet Blessings of Pain

It's been so long since I've been here and I feel like  I have so many things to share with you my stranger friends. So Let me start here:


Past few weeks were really not going smooth and well, the  truth is, I could point it as one of the lowest moments of my life. I was very emotional and bitterness started to reign in me. I literally experienced waking up in the middle of the night and can't stop tears from falling. I was broken hearted. 


But on the other side, I ironically enjoyed the state of being hurt, because with that, I've once again exprienced being comforted by God. It was still very clear to me what my Senior Pastor mentioned in his sermon four or five years ago, he said that God can remove the pain that we have but most of the time He choose not to, so that He can be able to comfort us and to let us feel His loving presence in the midst of pain. And I can attest to that. In my heart, I'd rather get hurt again and again and feel God's comfort than be fine without Him.


I remember what I've wrote to my journal one time, I said there that I was really struggling being accountable to someone because I feel like nobody expects me to feel petty things and do acts of immaturities. I am a leader and I should be righteous. I should be good in all areas of my life. But of course, I know that those were not true.. but inpite of that, I still can hardly tell what's really going on with my heart. 

Until God lead me to this situation where I feel like I'm so helpless and I can't be able to fight alone. I needed someone to carry my burden with me and to do the fight with me. God granted me the courage to share what was in my heart and the next were all history. 

Indeed, moments like this refined my relationship with God and with my treasured friends. God taught me how to fully trust and secured me that my issues were properly taken care of in their hands. I would also say that from there, friendship were strengthened.

As of this moment, I can't still say that I am fully fine, I still have some issues to face but the difference is, I shared the piece of that with them and that's a total relief. 

To end this, I would like to say thank you trio for shedding tears and battling the fight with me. I will be forever in owe of your kindness and sincere friendship that doesn't tolerate but only cares. And to you God,

You know me more but inspite of that, You never love me less. I know that you're keeping my tears and treasure it. With you and with them, indeed, everything will be well.. (:

weeping may stay for the night,

    but rejoicing comes in the morning.

-Psalm 30:5