Sweet Blessings of Pain

It's been so long since I've been here and I feel like  I have so many things to share with you my stranger friends. So Let me start here:


Past few weeks were really not going smooth and well, the  truth is, I could point it as one of the lowest moments of my life. I was very emotional and bitterness started to reign in me. I literally experienced waking up in the middle of the night and can't stop tears from falling. I was broken hearted. 


But on the other side, I ironically enjoyed the state of being hurt, because with that, I've once again exprienced being comforted by God. It was still very clear to me what my Senior Pastor mentioned in his sermon four or five years ago, he said that God can remove the pain that we have but most of the time He choose not to, so that He can be able to comfort us and to let us feel His loving presence in the midst of pain. And I can attest to that. In my heart, I'd rather get hurt again and again and feel God's comfort than be fine without Him.


I remember what I've wrote to my journal one time, I said there that I was really struggling being accountable to someone because I feel like nobody expects me to feel petty things and do acts of immaturities. I am a leader and I should be righteous. I should be good in all areas of my life. But of course, I know that those were not true.. but inpite of that, I still can hardly tell what's really going on with my heart. 

Until God lead me to this situation where I feel like I'm so helpless and I can't be able to fight alone. I needed someone to carry my burden with me and to do the fight with me. God granted me the courage to share what was in my heart and the next were all history. 

Indeed, moments like this refined my relationship with God and with my treasured friends. God taught me how to fully trust and secured me that my issues were properly taken care of in their hands. I would also say that from there, friendship were strengthened.

As of this moment, I can't still say that I am fully fine, I still have some issues to face but the difference is, I shared the piece of that with them and that's a total relief. 

To end this, I would like to say thank you trio for shedding tears and battling the fight with me. I will be forever in owe of your kindness and sincere friendship that doesn't tolerate but only cares. And to you God,

You know me more but inspite of that, You never love me less. I know that you're keeping my tears and treasure it. With you and with them, indeed, everything will be well.. (:

weeping may stay for the night,

    but rejoicing comes in the morning.

-Psalm 30:5

When We Start Comparing

As imperfect as we are, we'll always have that tendency not to agree with what God is doing and there might come a point in our lives that we'll feel bad about Him. We start to feel bad and lose our faith and even question Him. 


Jeremiah was not an exception to this. Considering that he was chosen by God to be His mouthpiece, he was least expected to feel this way. But Jeremiah started to doubt God when he mentioned this :

Why does the way of the wicked prosper? 

Why do all the faithless live at ease?

You are always on their lips 

but far from their hearts. 

You have planted them and they have taken root 

they grow and bear fruit.

(Jeremiah 12: 1-2)

A question filled with doubt unexpectedly expressed from a prophet like him. 

When did Jeremiah started to feel bad? When Jeremiah started to compare. When he saw that the wicked people around Him is still experiencing blessings inspite of their unworthiness. And He was disappointed with God because of that. He forgot that God's way will always be higher than ours.

Comparison will always cause insecurity, jealousy and many other feelings we never want to feel. So instead of looking to the right or to the left, look up, straight to Him. You'll never go wrong in doing so. (:

It is when...

Life gives us so many reason to feel down, to frown, be discouraged, get mad and all but on the brighter side, life gives us a thousand more reason to celebrate. It's just a matter of choice and perspective.

This past few days has been so tiring and stressful that I almost forgot to appreciate things around me. Then everything started to be ordinary if not irritating. Everything seemed to be offensive. Burdens increased and sensitivity leveled up. At the end of the day, I know I always got choice.

From this, I learned that life is indeed a teaser. It will tease you until you give in or you stand up. It will hit you whether you're ready or not, guarded or unguarded. You give in - you loose. You stand up and make right decisions it will tease you even more. 

That is why, keeping a good perspective is one of the best choice we could do in life. It's when we wake up every morning and choose to be happy no matter what. It's when we laugh out loud over our foolish mistakes instead of feeling down. It's when we stop for a while and gaze up to the sky in rush moments. It's when we love even more inspite of imperfections. It's when we understand even it's complicated. It's when we go out to our comfort zone and still feel confident and secure. It's when we forgive others in treating us the way we don't deserve. It's when we choose to hold on to our passion even in discouragements. And above all, it's when we trust God in everything.

Blessed Sunday everyone :)

Chasing Dreams

There will always come a point in our lives that our reasons to pursue our dreams get blurry and we start to be complacent towards that dream. We give up and we lose heart. We let go of the passion that drove us to pursue such. All of us have these tendecies.

Lately, I've been into some disappointments that caused me to stop and reflect for quite some time if what I've already started really worth the sacrifice, the time, the effort and the discouragements maybe. If those things are really meant for me?

This is what I get upon reflecting things.. a dream has to be bigger than us for it to be worthy to be called as dream. You need to pursue it and be desperate about it. You need to have a hundred and one percent of passion enough to fight disappointments, enough to stand all over again in the midst of failures and y0u need to be willing to respect the process. I believe that God purposely planted in our hearts desires that connects us to our personal callings. Our Purpose.

Today, I'm saying Yes to my dreams again. Fully aware that there's no assurance that everything will go smooth and well. I might fall again, but in the perfect grace of God, I will rise. Today, I promise to respect the process and grow through it.

Look and Remember :)

It's more fun to see people being changed by the gentle love of the Lord. (to be continued),..

Happy Happy Clan

**this is part of my 30-day blog challenge

They say that whatever happens we should hold on to our family because at the end, they are the once who will be there for us no matter what.

Well, I'm bless to belong in a huge and amazing family. Want statistics? Just in my Mom's side alone, I have almost forty (first) cousins. And for the record let me say this: We are huge, amazing and intact family..

Every year, we make it a point to spend Christmas and New Year together and we always look forward for family events like this. Allow me to post some photos to speak in my behalf how fun my life is because I belong to this clan (:

Cousins and Titas with our beloved Lola.

I know not everyone is bless to have this kind of family... where love is genuine and care is tangible..

Oh, have I mentioned that we're also photo addict? Yes we are! Look at our beloved Lola..

and we love games as well especially "sambutan" hahaha!

Haha! See that? That's my Mom and Tita Belle..

When we (cousins) get old, we know that this is something we wanna keep until we pass on to our children the value of family.. What could have been more fun than this?

It's More Fun to Inspire, Impact and Influence

**This is part of my 30-day blog challenge

I pulled this picture from one of the blogs I'm recently lurking and and as I read some of her posts, it confirmed to my heart that this is what I really wanna do, not just to write but to impact, influence and inspire people. I'm really not a good writer, as some of you might noticed it already. Words doesn't just flow swiftly and easily and I even find myself stuggling in expressing my heart and my mind.. But I guess, it doesn't hurt if someday, God will tell me that I'm not designed as a blogger. I'm ready to hear that anytime. But here's one thing I'm sure of, I'm called to impact, influence and inspire people. Get that? :)

Here are some of the contents of Shad's post where she express her grattitude to Riz (her fellow blogger who impact her life without Riz knowing it):

"Aside from God’s word and plans for me, and my parents’ and friends’ support and confidence in me, it was Riz’ words that I’ve held on through several phases in my life as a writer: a blogger, a web/SEO-centric writer, and now an editor."

"Sooo… thank you, Riz, for chasing God’s dreams for your life throughout the years. You’ve been making a difference in my life since that day I talked about ^. I mean, even my career path now has somehow been influenced by you. You deserve a chapter in my autobiography, hehe."

How was that? Imagine yourself influencing people even those you do not know or haven't even met hearing reading those very very kind words from them. I imagine Riz with her huge smile and flattered heart more inspired to do things that could inspire and impact and influence people..

Upon writing this, there's a song that came to my mind.. And as i went through the lyrics, it made me cry, because this is what I wanna be like.. I wanna share what I have to inluence people for God.

Thank You for Giving To The Lord
Music & Lyrics by Ray Boltz

I dreamed I went to Heaven, you were there with me.
We walked upon the streets of gold beside the Crystal Sea.
We heard the angels singing, then someone called your name.
You turned and saw this young man, and he was smiling as he came.
He said, "Friend you may not know me now," and then he said, "But wait -
You used to teach my Sunday School, when I was only eight.
And every week you would say a prayer before the class would start.
And one day when you said that prayer,
I asked Jesus in my heart."


Chorus
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.
Then another man stood before you, he said "Remember the time,
A missionary came to your church, His pictures made you cry.
You didn't have much money but you gave it anyway.
Jesus took that gift you gave
And that's why I'm in Heaven today"


Chorus
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.
One by one they came, far as your eyes could see.
Each life somehow touched by your generosity.
Little things that you had done, sacrifices that you made,
They were unnoticed on this earth
In Heaven now proclaimed.


Chorus
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.
And I know up in Heaven you're not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure there were tears in your eyes
As Jesus took your hand and you stood before the Lord
He said "My child look around you,
Great is your reward."


Chorus
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave,
I am so glad you gave